Sex toy guide
Buying a sex toy can be a fairly ordinary decision. You are curious about a particular sensation, someone mentions something they enjoy, or you would like to understand your own preferences a little better.
For someone who grew up feeling embarrassed about masturbation, that same purchase can carry more weight. It means making room for a part of themselves they may have spent years ignoring.
Vibrators were already widely used long before the current conversation around sexual wellness. In a nationally representative US study published in 2009, 52.5% of the 2,056 women surveyed, aged 18 to 60, reported having used one. A companion study of 1,047 men in the same age range found that 44.8% had incorporated a vibrator into their sexual activities. That is a historical finding from one country, not a description of women everywhere today, but it challenges the idea that these were only ever niche products.
The quiet revolution is a useful way of describing something more personal than a change in shopping habits: becoming comfortable exploring pleasure without needing to justify it.
A toy can be part of that exploration. It can also remain just an object you occasionally enjoy. There is no need to make it a statement about identity, relationship or how sexually confident someone is.
And there is no obligation to own one.
A longstanding reality
52.5%
of women surveyed reported vibrator use in landmark research
2,056
women surveyed aged 18 to 60 across diverse backgrounds
100%
autonomy in deciding what fits your personal rhythm
The quiet revolution in women’s pleasure
An industry that silently evolved and learned from women to help them embrace better pleasure with no pressure or judgements
Why sex toys are changing pleasure and how we understand our bodies?
A useful part of exploring pleasure is questioning what we think is supposed to happen. Penetration does not have to be the centre of every experience, and reaching orgasm quickly is not the only way to enjoy sex.
Research illustrates why a single approach cannot suit everyone. In a representative US survey of 1,055 women, published online in 2017, 36.6% said clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse. Another 36% said their orgasms felt better with it, even when it was not necessary. Participants also reported different preferences for the location, pressure and pattern of touch. Similarly for men the touch and pattern is not the same for everyone even if on this category there are less studies done.
Toys offer ways to explore some of those differences. External vibration, internal pressure and other forms of stimulation do not all produce the same experience. Learning which you enjoy can give you something specific to discuss with a partner, rather than trying to explain that something is missing. Clinical guidance recognises vibrator use both in addressing certain sexual difficulties and in exploring sexual enjoyment.
Men deserve the same room for curiosity. We would like the conversation about male pleasure to extend beyond maintaining an erection or lasting longer. There is value in asking what feels enjoyable, what becomes repetitive and whether another kind of stimulation interests you.
Common Myths and reality
“Sex toys are mainly for women.”
The research on men challenges that assumption. Their use is not limited to solo masturbation, either: the 2009 men's study included both solo and partnered sexual activities.
“Wanting a toy means your partner is not enough.”
Wanting to try a sensation is not, by itself, a verdict on a relationship. We see toys as something a couple can discuss and choose together, not as a test of either person's ability. Buying one does not create an obligation for a partner to use it.
“Vibrators will permanently damage your sensitivity.”
The International Society for Sexual Medicine reports that claims of permanent loss of sensitivity from vibrator use are not supported by scientific medical studies. Temporary numbness can occur. Take a break rather than increasing the intensity, and speak to a healthcare professional if sensation does not return to normal.
“The strongest or most popular toy must be the best.”
People differ in the pressure and patterns of touch they enjoy. A product's popularity cannot tell you whether its sensation will suit you. Consider comfort, fit and control rather than treating maximum intensity as the main selling point.
Main categories
External vibrators
Designed for external stimulation of the clitoris, penis or other sensitive areas, using different vibration intensities and patterns
Air-pulse and pressure-wave stimulators
Use gentle air-pressure pulses, mainly around the clitoris, offering a different sensation from traditional vibrators
Insertable toys
Designed for vaginal or anal stimulation through shape, pressure or vibration (also called dildos, internal vibrators and prostate massagers)
Masturbation sleeves and strokers
Soft sleeves designed for penile stimulation through texture, pressure and movement, available in manual and motorised versions
Penis rings
Worn around the base of the penis to help maintain erections, with some models adding vibration for extra stimulation.
Materials and safety of use
The material of a sex toy affects more than how it feels. It can influence its price, durability, compatibility with your skin and how easily it can be cleaned. Higher-quality materials often cost more but may also remain in good condition for longer.
One important difference is porosity. Non-porous materials have surfaces that do not readily absorb liquids or microorganisms, making them easier to clean thoroughly. Porous materials can retain moisture and microorganisms within their structure, even after washing.
Below you can find an easy list of materials scored based on overall safety and compatibility with the body. if uncertain about the toy material always remember that you can use a condom to wrap.
Most common types of material you can find in your toys
Medical-grade silicone (tested soft silicone)
A flexible, non-porous material used in certain medical applications. It is generally well tolerated and easy to clean. Medical-grade silicone may undergo additional biocompatibility testing, but the label alone does not guarantee safety. Look for documented testing and information about the finished product.
ABS plastic (hard plastic)
A rigid, lightweight and relatively inexpensive plastic commonly used in vibrators. Its smooth, non-porous surface is easy to maintain, although scratches, cracks and damaged coatings can affect safety and hygiene.
TPE and TPR (soft rubber-like plastic)
Flexible materials commonly used in realistic masturbators and sleeves. They can feel soft and lifelike, but many formulations are porous and more difficult to clean thoroughly. Their chemical composition, durability and quality vary considerably.
Natural rubber and latex (elastic rubber)
Flexible materials that can deteriorate over time. Natural latex can cause allergic reactions in sensitive individuals. Cleaning requirements and durability depend on the formulation and construction.
Jelly rubber and soft PVC (jelly-like plastic)
Usually inexpensive, flexible materials. Some formulations contain plasticisers, including potentially harmful phthalates. Their composition may not be clearly disclosed, and certain products can become sticky or degrade over time. They may also be difficult to clean thoroughly.
Natural rubber and latex (elastic rubber)
Flexible materials that can deteriorate over time. Natural latex can cause allergic reactions in sensitive individuals. Cleaning requirements and durability depend on the formulation and construction.
Wise usage keeps your toy safe
Clean toys according to the manufacturer's instructions, dry them thoroughly before storage and inspect them regularly for damage.
Choose compatible lubricants and store in boxes or bags and overall places to avoid contact or friction with other materials that can create scratches or contamination.
Frequently asked questions
Which sex toy should I try first?
Start with the kind of stimulation you already enjoy or are curious about. A small external vibrator or a simple masturbation sleeve can be a good introduction. Choose something comfortable, easy to control and simple to clean. You don't need an expensive or complicated toy for your first experience.
Can using a sex toy reduce sexual sensitivity?
Then is no evidence showing that sex toys used properly harm or reduce body sensitivity. It is always better to practice low pressure and wait for the body to learn to react rather than immediately applying strong pressure following the peak of plesure. Often partners can help with that as they are less caught in the moment and can help you to be mindful of the pressure applied. Lube prevent too much friction which in long term keeps the skin sensitivity. If something feels uncomfortable, take a break, observe your body or try a lower intensity.
Can sex toys make orgasms more intense?
For some people, yes. Different types of vibration, pressure and stimulation can produce sensations that are difficult to recreate manually. The full privacy of using the toy by yourself can also remove some mental pressure and unlock deeper pleasure. However, stronger stimulation doesn't necessarily mean greater pleasure. Everyone has different preferences, and finding yours may involve some experimentation.
Which lubricant should I use with a sex toy?
Water-based lubricants are generally the easiest choice because they work with most toy materials. Silicone-based lubricants may be unsuitable for some silicone toys, while oil-based products can damage latex condoms. Always check the manufacturer's recommendations before combining products.
Naturally, only if you want
There is no obligation to own one, and no statement you need to make.
A toy can be an occasional tool or entirely unnecessary for your fulfillment. Genuine confidence is discovering what feels supportive to you without conforming to anyone else's expectations.